I’ve been writing about some emotionally rough stuff lately, over at Your Tango: Just because I’m lonely doesn’t mean I hate myself; what depression is like for me, and never having been in love before. (Shameless plug, I know. But hang in there.) It’s been a weird, but good, experience. I’ve been feeling these things so often and for so long that I don’t have dig very deep to get to it. It’s all just sitting there on the surface ready for the taking. But this week (last week?) I hit an emotional wall (and god bless Brie who took the brunt of that breakdown). While it feels good to get it all out there, it also doesn’t fix anything. Not that I thought it would. But it’s a very odd experience to lay out all of your failures and shortcomings for others to see and have nothing be any different at the end of the day.
I’m not sure that feeling is going to go away any time soon, but the least I can do is keep writing and see what happens.
One thing that happens when I’m depressed is I start taking away the things I love to do, and one of the first things to go is reading. Part of it is I’m so tired at the end of the day, my brain is so done that I can’t imagine it working to read. It’s so much easier to turn on the tv and zone out. Which means, I’m way behind on my reading. I’m determined to read more as the year closes out and since someone asked a hundred years ago, here’s what’s on my nightstand right now.
The Man In The Rockefeller Suit – I love true crime. I love dark, twisty, weird shit. And when that shit actually happened? Even better.
Defending Jacob – This is a book club book that we’re reading this month. Legal thrillers usually aren’t my thing, but I’ve heard good things about it. Plus, that’s been one of the nice things about this book club. It’s pushed me to read things I wouldn’t have chosen on my own.
Sublime – My girls Christina Lauren wrote this. Their first YA novel and I’ve been dying to find the time to read it.
Landline – I love Rainbow. And I’m kicking myself that I haven’t read this yet. But because I love her, I wanted to devote the appropriate brain space to this book and I just haven’t been able to yet. Soon, my precious. Soon.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking – You’d think at 32 I’d have being an introvert all figured out. But I don’t. Not by a long shot. This is also a great book for extroverts who don’t know how to deal with the introverts in their lives.
Big Little Lies – This is another book club book. I know nothing about it, but I’ve liked her stuff in the past. I’ve also heard from some folks who love all of her stuff that this is their favorite so far.
House Of Leaves – Remember my love for the dark and twisty and based in reality? Yeah. That. A friend of mine said she’d read it and the first words she used to describe it were, “This is some fucked up shit.” I immediately pulled out of my phone to add it to my GoodReads list.
What are you reading? What should I add to my massive list of books to read?