Today I will try not to focus on all the yesterdays and all the should haves and could haves and why didn’t Is because the next two, three, four tomorrows are still waiting to turn into yesterdays. Today I will focus on today while today is still a today.
I will drink more Diet Coke than I should and sit in front of my computer and pretend that I am a writer, photographer, all the things I try to be, want to be. Today I will pretend like I don’t need a little orange pill to set my brain to rights. It will work and it will be magic and effortless and all the things it should be, all the things it can be. I will pretend that this jar of peanut butter and this spoon are a full, nutritious meal.
I will stretch out on my couch and pretend that that is enough. That I am enough. That the five, six, seven, eight tomorrows of a life without you and with just me will be enough.
Today all my shortcomings will just be comings. Words will flow freely, images clearly, life easily. Today will be pie in the sky, apple of my eye, me oh my lovely.
Today will be what all the yesterdays could have been, what all the tomorrows should be.
Today will be today.