Black Heart, Black Friday

Today’s disjointed post brought to you by the letters M I S C.

I joke a lot that I’m dead inside. Sad commercials and Disney movies don’t make me cry. I’m more likely to laugh at someone who trips and falls than I am to rush to their side. (Okay, after I got done laughing I’d totally help them back up.) Only a handful of people have ever seen me cry and two of them made me.  When I do emote it’s usually in private.

Right now Casey’s youngest Vivi is very into the, “What’s a ___ say?” game. After watching her mom sniffle her way through Finding Neverland, Addie played the game game with Vivi.

ADDIE: Vivi, what’s a cow say?

VIVI: Boo! (very scary cows)

ADDIE: What’s Mom say when she watches Finding Neverland?

VIVI: …

ADDIE: *sniffsniffsniffsniff*

I, of course, find this hysterical and have repeated the joke every chance I’ve had.

Until she fired back.

She’s not wrong.

This also extends to holidays and birthdays. I dislike my birthday with the fire of a thousand suns. I’m not really a big fan of Christmas and I’ve never had a good New Year’s.

But Thanksgiving. Oh, Thanksgiving makes my cold, dead heart perk up.

It starts Wednesday night. For at least five or six years now a group of us go out on Thanksgiving Eve. We get a little boozey. We play a few games. We laugh, a lot.

Thursday, we do Thanksgiving with two other families. If you’d told me in third grade when Jessica and I became friends that she would still be one of my best friends over twenty years later and that our families would spend just about every important holiday together? Well, I wouldn’t have believed you, but I can’t imagine it any other way now.

Where we eat varies from year to year, but there are a few things that never change. We laugh. A lot. If you ever want to witness me laugh so hard I start to impersonate a tea kettle? Your best chance is around these folks. After dinner all of the kids change into our footie pajamas and go lay down in the Designated Digestion Zone.

Eventually the DDZ is cleared. There’s games and more laughter and at least one in-family passive aggressive fight and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I love everything about Thanksgiving. The food, the people, the traditions. All of it. (Except pumpkin. I dislike all things pumpkin flavored. Keep your pumpkin spice lattes and hand me an caramel apple cider, please.)

The only thing I’m not fond of is Black Friday. I hate shopping. I don’t like having to search for something. I don’t like crowds of people. And I certainly don’t like crowds of rabid people fighting for the last $8 fuzzy throw.

My other problem with Black Friday is that I rarely see anything to buy for others. It’s all stuff I want. Last year I left Thanksgiving at my parents and ended up going to Target to pick up a steam mop I’d been wanting. (Shut up, it’s a really good steam mop.) And while there are some really good deals, all it’s stuff I want. None of it is something I desperately need. I also have the small problem of having really expensive taste. Line up nearly identical items without prices and nine times out of ten the one I like will be the most expensive one. (I also consider anything over $20 expensive.)

If I had it my way, these are just a few of the things I’d have on super sale…online…with free shipping…and lots of samples thrown in. For free of course.

Horny Toad Hoodie – Oh hey, you sure are pretty. Casey owns this in blue. She’s dangerously close to it showing up missing one day after I visit. *ahem*

Twelve South BookBook laptop case – I saw this a couple of years ago and immediately fell in love with it. And now that I have my very own MacBook? I wants it even more.

Brother CS6000i – I desperately want to learn to sew (exciting, I know), but we have these quilts my great grandmother made and I love the idea of making something like that that generations later would use and have a story to tell.

Clean Provence – Another thing that Casey introduced me to. I love it so very much. It’s, like the name suggests, a clean fresh scent.

Fresh Brown Sugar – I wear this daily. I’m super picky about scents I’ll wear, especially because my delicate special snowflake skin doesn’t play well with most scents. So, when I find something that smells good and doesn’t irritate my skin? I’m all in.

Savoy Quilted Leather Jacket – I mean, just look at it. It gets more perfect the longer you look.

Contigo Sheffield – Okay, these aren’t necessarily expensive, but they are amazing. Best water bottle ever. Seriously. Water stays cold, ice stays ice.

EMU Yambulla Pullover – SO SO PRETTY.

Okay, so that’s my Black Friday wishlist. What would be on yours?

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4 thoughts on “Black Heart, Black Friday

  1. OMG now I REALLY want the horny toad hoodie. The EMU pullover is on my Pinterest board and I want it! It is SO pretty. I have the brother sewing machine and it rocks. I love sewing.

    Happy Thanksgiving! It’s my favorite holiday. Mmm food

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