If, Then

I very easily, especially when I’m in it with depression, get caught up in if, then statements.

If I get the apartment clean, then I’ll keep it that way. Forever.

If I join the gym, then I’ll start working out again and reclaim a body I barely recognize.

If I lose weight then I can buy those boots I want.

If I write more on the blog then maybe I can start getting some paid writing gigs.

If the apartment is clean then I will organize all my paperwork.

If I get that sweater then my boobs will look fantastic.

If I see Breaking Dawn then I will go see it again. (Autowolves, roll out!)

If I can find a job then I can stop worrying about money every minute of every day.

Some of them are frivolous, some of them more heavy, but all of them boil down to one essential thing.

If I do/get/find/make/buy this, then I will be happy.

I have to work hard to be happy and these days it feels like I’m working too hard, for too little. I feel like I’m treading water. Logically I know this is the depression talking. Logically, I know I’m in it right now, and have been for awhile. Knowing it doesn’t make it any easier.

But maybe, if I write about this, then it will get a little easier.


6 thoughts on “If, Then

  1. If you come over to my house then I will be your sunshine.

    If you come to my house then I will make you stuff off of Pinterest.

    If you fall? Then I will always catch you.

    (If you bring your boobs then I will snuggle them. -Vivi)

    (If you bring your boobs then I will walk on them. -Percy)

    (If you come over then I will wink at you. -Wink)

    (If you come over I will judge your taste in Barbie movies. -Addie)

    (If you come over then I will be glad you did. -Cody.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s