Hold Up, You Mean I Have To KEEP Cleaning This Place?

The apartminium, you guys it is dirty. Okay, that’s not true. It’s messy. There are no little critters (mouse, notwithstanding) reveling in the piles of dirt and filth. But there are piles. Piles of things that need to be put away. Like, why is there a bra on the back of my couch? How much energy would it take to pick it up, walk three feet and throw it on the floor of my bedroom put it away? But it’s not just a rogue bra. It’s a can of compressed air and a purse full of random things that themselves need to be put away and scraps from the various t-shirt scarves I’ve been making and a can of duster and a flour sifter and a Wiimote and omg you get the point.

I have 600 square feet with little to no closet space/storage so that even when one thing is out of place it makes it look like the entire place has been hit by storm of tiny, furiously fast hedgehogs and then my head explodes. It’s impossible to feel relaxed in a messy house. Organization is essential. Unfortunately I’m not so great at it for myself. You, I could come in and organize the shit out of your life. Me? *FLAIL*

And it appears that I have a few quirks (shock! awe! amazement!) when it comes to cleaning. For example, I cannot tackle any of the bags of random items that need to be dealt with until the entire apartminium is spotless. Then and only then can I begin to organize those bags or take things out of closets to deal with. I also cannot shower if my living space is not clean. There is something so abhorrent about the idea of showering and then stepping out into a messy house. Please no thank you.

Generally when I start cleaning I go around the apartment and throwing things into the room in which they belong. The key to this is not actually putting anything away. Because you’ll get stuck in one room. Once everything is in its rightful room two or three days later I go room by room and put everything away. Then after all the rooms are put away THEN I can vacuum and dust but not before. NEVER BEFORE.

Also, I’ve decided since the entire apartminium is hardwood or tile and every floor cleaner I’ve tried leaves a sticky residue I need a Shark Mop which, shockingly, does not play the Jaws theme while you clean. Missed opportunity if you ask me.

The plan was to have the apartminium spotless in August? Well, let’ see, it’s November 16th so I’m right on track to LOSE MY DAMN MIND.

So, who wants to help save my sanity? I’ll pay you in Twilight references and kitty snuggles.



7 thoughts on “Hold Up, You Mean I Have To KEEP Cleaning This Place?

  1. A bigger place does not make this better. In fact, I think it makes it much, much worse. I have found myself daydreaming of a smaller house the past few months because it would mean I couldn’t keep all this random crap that currently resides here.

    Please, come organize my house; I’ll do what I can with the Apartminium!

  2. I feel your pain. From where I sit, I see dirty socks, newpapers, random things that are not where they should be And my mom was just here a week ago, and she cleaned up!!

    You know what I think we need to do? Go to the Container Store and breath in the vibe. Who’s coming with me??

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