As a rule, I tend to shy away from large groups of people where I know no one. It’s nerve racking and overwhelming and omg won’t someone please hold my hand? Should I find myself in such a situation I’m usually pretty quite at first, but that’s only because there is so much crazy going on in my head.
Don’t say something stupid. Don’t say something inappropriate. Don’t do the cackle-laugh, you just met, they aren’t ready for that. Don’t curse, most people don’t find that endearing like you do. Don’t be too eager, but don’t be TOO quiet either. Great, now you’re just staring. Say something, anything! Find something you have in common. Talk about that! Trying to recall what you want me to say, I shake it your way; I shake it your way. Now is not the time to sing! Focus! You are SO Creepy McCreeperson right now. Stop staring! SAY SOMETHING….oh. No. Not THAT.
But when The Queen of Free said she was rounding up people for a cupcake crawl before I knew what was happening I was all “I’M IN!”.
Look, it’s cupcakes people. I’m not made of stone.
As I ate s’more cupcake after pucker up cupcake after peanut butter explosion cupcake after ZOMG chocolate chip cookie dough stuffed cupcake! I relaxed, told the voices in my head to suck it and enjoyed myself.
So naturally, that’s when it happened. Once my crazy was quiet my mouth was all: Please to be inserting foot…HERE. It was inevitable really. Lovely, wise, poor unsuspecting Casey graciously offered to fix my BRAND. NEW. CAMERA! (a week ago I hit a button and I knew what was wrong, but hell if I knew how to fix it, so I was shooting on automatic *shudder* and she rightly called me out on it). After fixing it she generously offered to sit down and show me all the bells and whistles and buttons. So nice, right? How sweet, huh? I mean, who wouldn’t love that? She takes stunning pictures, of course you would love that! My response? “I HAVE A DEGREE IN PHOTOGRAPHY.”
I. yeah. Le sigh.
This? This is why I have all the aforementioned crazy happening. It’s so I don’t say something rude to someone being very kind. Because the meaning behind “I HAVE A DEGREE IN PHOTOGRAPHY” was, “You know, I have a degree in photography and although it’s been a few years since I’ve been able to use the degree and the skills I acquired along the way I still feel like I should have been able to figure this one out and I’m embarrassed that I didn’t figure it out and omg yes! Yes, please. That would be fantastic. I would love that.” So, I could have said that. Or I could not mention the degree (oh hey, did you know I have a degree in photography? *facepalm*) because it’s so totally unnecessary and at this point I could have a degree in training flying monkeys to do water ballet or teaching baby eels how to sing for all the good that degree is doing me and I could have just said what I really meant, which was: “Yes! I would love that!” So should we replay that lovely little moment in our heads, let’s just pretend I said “Yes! I would love that!” because that is totally what I meant.
I will always say stupid things. I will always inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings or come across as rude because of the stupid things I say. I like to think it’s part of my charm. heh. And I know everyone feels this way to a degree. Right? RIGHT?! (Please just nod your head yes because otherwise I may never leave the Apartminium.) But I had a genuinely wonderful time on Saturday and met some fantastic people (who hopefully I will see again!) and I’m so glad I didn’t let my fear of putting my foot in my mouth keep me home.
Back to the chocolate chip cookie dough stuffed cupcake. It’s technically called The Alex. If I could imprint on a cupcake it would be with The Alex. Or for you True Blood folk, this cupcake glamoured the hell out of me. Are you seeing this people? That’s chocolate chip cookie dough inside the cupcake.