Vampires, Waitresses, and Shape Shifters, Oh My!

You’ve heard of True Blood, yes? And the books? I love it/them. a lot. like cake. Also, I fancy myself a southern belle after each episode. I walk around talking in Bill’s ridiculous southern accent for days after each viewing. Everything sounds better. Seriously. “Sookeh is maaaahn!” So much better than, “Sookie is mine!” It only gets better from there. Trust. I can also be heard saying, “Jason Stackhouse you stupid, sexy motherfucker,” while watching. And Eric, oh Eric. Unf.


The show does not want for sexiness.

Every Monday I come into work, head straight for my co-worker’s desk and we discuss and dissect the previous night’s True Blood. And then I share my favorite quote. Because there is always a quote. And it’s almost always from Bill. And it always makes things better. So, my dear parents reader, I have decided that Mondays I will share with you my favorite quote from True Blood. Why? Because you’re just that lucky.

Past quotes have included:

“You have undahmahned mah authorahty as a mahkah!”

“You made me a monstah!”

“Soooookeh!” It’s bound to be said at least 3 times during any given episode.

“Are you going to leahve or do Ah have to throw you out? Through a window! That is closed!” Sometimes being a hundred-mumble-year old vampire is hard y’all.

This week Bill didn’t pull through for me. But Eric. Eric never disappoints.

Sookie: He’s your maker?
Eric: Do not use words you do not understand.
Sookie: I know you have a lot of love for him.
Eric: Do no use words I do not understand.

Now, I admit, it’s no window quote, but coming from the viking vampire (yes, you read that right) with just the barest hint of a smirk? Funny stuff, people, funny stuff.

Folks it’s time to hop on the True Blood train. Besides a stellar cast, most of whom are from anywhere other than the south, you’ve got a hundred something or other year old vampire who likes to channel Scarlett O’Hara’s flair for the dramatic, a telepathic waitress who, golly gee, loves her vampire (and tiny little bottles of booze, too!), a shape shifting bar owner who can never catch a break and vampires in cowboy hats! And that’s not even scratching the surface. Go watch. No seriously, go watch. I’ll be here waiting. Season 1 is on dvd, HBO On Demand has all of season 2 and you can read recaps here, and here.

No seriously go watch. Otherwise I’m going to continue to badger. Just ask her.

After consulting with higher powers my co-worker it has come to my attention that Bill did, in fact, pull through for me. It just didn’t register the first time I watched.

“Ah am not hungrah!”

Note: All quotes from Bill should be said whilst channeling Scarlett O’Hara and angsty/petulant 16 year old girls. I would demonstrate, but a: I don’t possess the necessary equipment needed to do so and 2: my voice is freakishly high when recorded. You know how the camera adds 10 pounds for most people? It adds octaves for me. True story.


6 thoughts on “Vampires, Waitresses, and Shape Shifters, Oh My!

  1. Jordyn says:

    OH, Eric… *swoons* However, my favorite part of the whole season is when Jason waxes poetic about how Jesus was the first vampire. But that Eric quote is definitely 2nd. I cannot wait to watch last night’s ep, just haven’t had a chance yet, w/being 26 and grounded and all… p.s. we are eating sometime this week. I can do any day but Weds or Sat. Let me know.

    • justshireen says:

      Oh, this week’s episode was my favorite of the season. Lots of Eric. Lots of smiling/smirking Eric.

      Yes, food this week. Thursday? Will you be ungrounded by then? 😉

  2. Heeee! My Monday’s will be much better if I can read KDiddy’s TrueBlood update and then check out your Monday TrueBlood quote!! It will help take away the Monday John – Kate + 8 saddness.

    • justshireen says:

      Oh, I love KDiddy’s recaps! I’m on my way over to read this week’s recap right now. Glad I could help take away the sadness!

  3. Jordyn says:

    Oh, and the scene where Eirc scares Jason about the V was amazing. And it should be mandatory that Eric wears that tank top EVERY EPISODE. Also, I keep hating Bill more & more each episode…

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