There Are Times

There are times when the oppressive aloneness becomes too overwhelming.

There are times when this disease (and I hate calling it that) that worked its way into my body 11 years ago, but really has been there all along, reaches its hand out and no matter how hard I try, or how much I see it coming, it consumes me.

There are times when I am consumed and overwhelmed that all it will take is an old, dear friend looking at me and saying, “Hey, you okay friend?” for me to burst into tears. in the middle of book club. and no it’s not at all awkward, why do you ask?

There are times when I will let the disease consume me. I will give in. There is a familiarity to it. A comfort in my own sorrow.

There are times when I am consumed and overwhelmed and all I can see is the aloneness that I will know that it cannot stay like this.

There are time when I will fight to throw off the hand of this uninvited, unwanted disease and know that tomorrow things will not seem so oppressive, so alone. And if they do? I have people in my life to say, “Hey, are you okay friend?”

There are times when the asking of the question is all that’s needed to break free.


One thought on “There Are Times

  1. MOM says:

    > One can’t complain. I have my friends. Someone spoke to me only yesterday.
    From Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne
    > This is my depressed stance. When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.
    Charlie Brown
    > Hiding in my room, safe within my womb,
    I touch no one and no one touches me.
    I am a rock,
    I am an island.
    And a rock feels no pain;
    And an island never cries.
    Paul Simon
    From song I Am a Rock

    I love you baby. MOM

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