So, 30 Is A Thing Now

I don’t like birthdays. Like, at all. They remind me of all the things I thought I’d have accomplished, or seen, or done, or gone. I don’t care if I was eleven and had no concept of money, or rent, or MONEY when I decided that traveling through Europe camera first was the best idea, like, ever. It was a good idea, damn it. I also have the little habit of getting my hopes up too high, day dreaming of all the things that could happen and if you’re anything like me day dreaming of presents and surprises does nothing but build up your hopes to be thoroughly smashed by reality when your birthday rolls around and you don’t get the warm weather penguin who learned sign language (flipper language?) named Juan you conjured up one night high on Ambien, but instead just get a boring old sweater and all it does is compliment your eyes. And then you’re the jerk who’s all ungrateful because nobody read your mind and Juan is going to someone else and you try and be happy for Juan and his new person who isn’t you, but you just feel like the world’s biggest asshole for even thinking that you might get Juan and if you’d never thought of Juan you’d be super grateful for what is right in front of your face instead of being the selfish, spoiled, Juanless brat that you are. Shame spirals are fun like that.

I turn 30 tomorrow.

Someone fetch me my fainting chair.

Given how thoroughly I’ve disliked past birthdays, I figured this milestone was bound to be terrible. THIRTY YOU GUYS. Do you know how many things Tiny Shireen thought Thirty Shireen would have done by now? SO MANY THINGS. *looks at pile of things unaccomplished* *weeps*

And then there’s Casey. See, she loves birthdays more than anyone I’ve ever met. Every fiber of her being vibrates with the need to celebrate. Somehow all of the what ifs, should haves, etc don’t follow her around. WEIRD, RIGHT? If I have a giant thunder cloud above my head when it comes to birthdays and holidays, she has dancing unicorns in party hats throwing heart shaped confetti. How she puts up with my crotchety self, I’ll never know. But I’m so grateful she does.

And so I complained a little about how I wanted my friends to do something, but I felt bad for the wanting especially when I hadn’t managed to pull anything together for her 30th even though I really REALLY wanted to, and I knew I should just suck it up and plan my own thing (like she did) but that requires effort and planning and it’s slightly awkward and can’t I just starfish here on my bed and everybody else do all the hard work for me? *whinewhinewhine*

So, Saturday she picked me up and honest to god I was just happy to for our faces to share face space because she up and left me for an entire week WITH NO WIFI right after this happened and I was still feeling a little clingy. She showed up with a case of Diet Coke and an Alice and Wonderland poster and told me we were going to Seasons 52, despite my no really we can just go sit on your couch and stare at each other, it’s fine I swear. Somewhere in the back of my head Juan acquired the skill to tap dance, but I really meant it about the face staring and the sitting. Swearsies.

We pulled into valet (fancy!) and I got out and the jerk bum rushed me with a fuzzy pink blindfold, shoved something on my head, and pushed me back into the car.

ME: Soooooooooo, we’re not going to dinner, then?

CASEY: Maaaaaaybe *gigglegiggle*

At one point she also set me up with headphones blasting Mumford and you can TO blast banjo music shut up. It occasionally would cut out so there was a lot of one sided, “It’s gone.” “OOOOH, IT’S BACK.” “Ooops, gone again.” “AND WE’RE BACK!”

Eventually, we stopped (and ohthankgod I was ten seconds from throwing up woo carsickness!) and this happened.

The first person I saw was my godson and then I realized that all of my favorite people were in the same place at the same time. Internet friends, childhood friends, they were all in the same place for the first time it was a little weird and lot wonderful to have my worlds collide. Sparkles even showed up.

Having my family, old friends, and new friends all together, working together to do this incredibly wonderful thing is more fabulous than I can possibly say. I feel blessed and grateful and somewhere in my rain cloud a unicorn just stuck his head out.

Also, I wouldn’t hate it if y’all left a little message here. A comment cake, if you will. (I’m totally stealing this from Casey. I am without shame about it, too.) New readers, old readers, tell me something good. Had a really good burrito or found a really great deal on a pair of jeans? I want to hear. It’ll make my way into 30 that much more fantastic.
xoxo

29 thoughts on “So, 30 Is A Thing Now

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, tomorrow!!! I love you to the moon and back and I’m so bummed I was NOT invited to your super secret birthday bash, but I’ll blame Casey for that, also the fact that I live soooooo far away! Glad you got your party and a SPARKLY Edward, I’m sad I didn’t get to eat Edward at your party, that’s so so sad for me!!

    Hope your day tomorrow is filled with unicorns and rainbows and lots of happiness and fun and hugs and love and friends and SPARKLY stuff! I miss you bunches!!!

    XOXOX

  2. Happy 30, Shireen! The best part of this decade is feeling much more at home in my own skin as a thirty-something than I ever came close to in my 20s. So there’s that. Glad you had a great celebration!

  3. Lindsay says:

    Happy birthday friend! It seems like only yesterday we were celebrating with a girls sleepover for your 16th birthday at that fancy hotel! Instead of a birthDAY this time, we are celebrating for a whole year! Start saving for another girls weekend in a (maybe not so fancy) hotel sometime this year!!

  4. The Moose's mama says:

    Happiest of birthdays! When did we become adults and how do we make it stop? A little Grey’s reference if you will:) So thankful that even after all these years we still share a brain:) Love you so so much.

  5. Happy Birthday! (I just said that in my very best Frosty the Snowman voice.) I am so very, very glad that we know each other and are friends. My life wouldn’t be as lovely or sparkly without you in it. Here’s a present for you:

    It makes me laugh every single time I watch it. Which may or not be 30 times an hour. And it makes me talk with a Russian accent.

  6. I’m so sad I didn’t get to be there!!! So glad you had a great birthday party & I’m super jealous of your sparklepire cake. Ha ;-) <3 you & miss you bunches roomie <3

  7. Oh, the things we conjured up for our grownup selves! I was beyond sure that I’d be a doctor with a rockin’ hot husband, living in New York City with all my best girlfriends on our block with their hot husbands. We’d all have amazing careers, 4 kids, summers in Europe and Architectural Digest homes. So, you know me and … yeah. But life is good and I hope 30 and beyond is both amazing and filled with peace and contentment. My good thing? Today we booked plane tickets to take our kids to Disney. Happy Birthday, Shireen! Wish I could’ve been there to see your face when you walked in, but I was happy to see your face at the end and half of Sparkly Edward’s face.

  8. Brittany says:

    New reader here and I just have to say that everything about this post is so amazing. That sparkle Edward cake is out of control.
    Now to the real reason for commenting :)
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    My happy/good things right now – the book ‘Wild’ by Cheryl Strayed. $5 shirts at JCPenney’s. Finding awesome fellow Hoosiers via the Internet.
    I hope your day is wonderful and filled with happy. :)

  9. What a wonderful day! I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to make it but it looks like you had a swell time. You’re going to rock thirty….thirty rock. Heh. Anyway, I adore you.

  10. Welcome to the 30s! We’re all grown up in here. Or not. See, when you’re 30, you get to do whatever you want so feel free to not be a grownup.

    Happy birthday, friend! I’m so glad to have you in my life.

  11. I am very much like you, when it comes to birthdays. Too many dashed hopes of childhood turned me into a person who just decided it was easier to stop wishing. So sad — I wish I could get back that unicorn-loving girl.

    For my 40th birthday, last March — it wasn’t a surprise, but it was a similar feeling. I knew I couldn’t plan it myself so I put all of the burden on my husband and a couple of friends (lucky them!). It was one of the funnest birthdays ever — all because it was a house full of people that I love. And some amazing food & wine, and a killer playlist that spanned the course of the past 20 years.

    So glad you were able to be surrounded by your awesome peeps as you (almost) entered the 30s. I’d welcome you to them myself, but I’m already out the back door…

  12. Jackie says:

    Happy Birthday, lady! I’m 37 and eating cheez-its for lunch…and actually, both of those things are really good. I have liked my 30s much more than my 20s. And, c’mon, cheez-its are pretty great.

  13. Club 3-0 is fantastical. I’m five years in and no complaints thus far. So glad that your surprise came off without a hitch! Was thinking about you all evening. As far as good news goes . . . I’ve been asked to be on the board of trustees at the library. I think it’s kind of cool even if I don’t do it. Books are some of my best friends, aside from the internet ones of course. ;) Happy day girl.

  14. YAY for your birthday!! You’re a gorgeous woman with an even more beautiful spirit!! I’m so glad you finally got to usher in a birthday with a big bang! You are awesomeness!! ~hugs~ Wish I could have been there Saturday…

  15. Happy Birthday! It’s my birthday too. I faced the dreaded 30 three years ago. Let me tell you- that’s as bad as it got in the 30s. Every year since then (and yes, I realized I am in my early 30s), has been phenomenal. You know what happens in your 30s? You become comfy with your body… at least more comfy. I still hate my freaking ass, but whatever. Anyway, Casey commanded that we leave you a birthday note and here I am. Hope you have a super wonderful day, birthday twin!

  16. Happy, happy birthday, Shireen! My favorite part of my life right now is that my husband finished grad school a few weeks ago and my family feels complete again. I hope your birthday is wonderful!

  17. kathleenicanrah says:

    I turn 30 this year too….oof! good things here: just got back from a weekend in sonoma with my sisters and childhood best friends and it was the best, most soul-restoring time ever (to say nothing of WINE), and tonight I’m hosting a make-your-own-pizza party with all my girlfriends HERE and life is good. Getting older is going to be okay.

  18. 30 was pretty awesome. Of course, 37 and 38 really really sucked, but you’ve got a while to go before you worry about that. Also, those years mainly sucked because I spent them on the verge of checking myself into a mental hospital, so you probably don’t even need to worry about that at all. Meds are good.

    But back to cheerful, as a little girl in Terre Haute, I never even bothered to dream about traveling the world, because what little girl who grows up amid cornfields and can’t wait to be old enough to make money de-tasseling in the summer gets to travel the world? And guess what ended up happening in my 30’s? We moved to Europe and travelled everywhere and had babies and all that good stuff. Keep dreaming. You **might** want to give up on Juan, but don’t give up on the dreams that are actually rational. :)

  19. Happy Birthday Shireen! Oh, how I wish I could have been there to help celebrate YOU! You are awesome and I’m so glad the internet brought me you! I hope 30 and beyond are better than any Juan-centered dream could be!
    xoxo

  20. Halahblue says:

    I turn 30 next month! I have been debating celebration. I feel like it deserves celebration, but what I really want is dinner at a Japanese steakhouse with my hubs and kiddo. But I don’t want to blow off the milestone.

  21. Katie says:

    I didn’t see this till now. And I was totally going to come to your party, but I got to plan a last-minute honeymoon instead. You were there for that awkwardness. Fun, right?

    So, my happy thing is that I met you and Casey. I am so happy that I did and that you two took AMAZINGLY AWESOMELY BEAUTIFUL pictures of our wedding! Thank you for that. It means so much to me…you really have no idea. Especially with all of the other craziness surrounding that day. Thank you!

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